Hallmark stories are awfully boring,
Every story gets me snoring,
'She was misunderstood' and stuff,
'He would never be good enough',

And she finds a new man through luck,
And he's a decent... buck,
But is he worth it?
'Oh, he's so perfect!',

And they are like oil and fire,
They're gunna burn their bed down,
But they get along well, I guess,
And do things they won't confess,

And then suddenly they break up,
And get back together,
Contrived circumstances-
And wedding advances,

But it's never mentioned-
How three years later,
With a baby on her knee,
How lonely marriage can be,

Cause he's got a drinking habit,
And she's scarred to bring it up,
The baby's bruises are rough,
He's just misunderstood and stuff.