I want to write you a big long letter
and give voice to the frustration I feel
maybe even get mad at you
take it out on you
say horrible, nasty things
flail my hands in animation
smash a vase or two against the wall
release the real animal rage that I feel
that you have your own mind and your own will

but how could I?
first of all, I pride myself on my high thinking
I can’t descend to those petty vibrations
that will only destroy me in the end

But, the real reason
are your big brown eyes
those deep hues
of which I have a tendency to fall into
whenever they linger too long on mine
oh, why can’t we intertwine?
and be so close that we forget we’re dying
just for a second or two, at least?

the sun is splicing through the blinds
in neatly descending rays
casting parallels of shadow and light
across the bed

the leaves whirl outside the windowpane
the branches rustle in the late afternoon breeze
reminding me of the lucid dream I had on the bed we shared together on the floor
I was flying through the constellations
at incredible speeds
It felt so real at the time.

if you won’t come away with me
if you won’t let me stay
I won’t hold it against you
I won’t cast you away.

the freedom of choice is a gift (I respect your choice)
and I love the freedom of this life too dearly
I love the sunrises and the sunsets too dearly
I see the light in me seeing the light in you too clearly
to ever make light of the profundity of this

this trip
what a trip
and if we’re not on it together
then I’ll pass you on the highway
separate loads
with separate courses
in the twilight
I’m so glad to have seen you
for a moment in the headlights.