I’m breaking down
My heart beats hurt
I can’t contain it for much longer
It just keeps building and building

The harder I push it down
The harder it pushes back
And I break down in tears
Bawling my eyes out

All I do is think about him
Even with music blasting in my ears
The thoughts race by without stop
He’s all that’s on my mind

I miss him so much
I don’t know what to do
I shove my head into music and games
Yet it doesn’t work

I’m up late into the night
Constantly thinking what will happen
What if things were different
If the situation was different

Would we have actually became a couple
Or would this have still happened
I’m trying so hard for him
To just be his friend through this time

But the more time that passes
The greater the pain becomes
And I wonder to myself
Did I fall in love?

Is that why this hurts so much
Is that why I can’t help but miss him
Why he is constantly on my mind
Running circles around my distractions

I’m honestly afraid of the next time I see him
What if I run inwards and cause the body to faint
What if I run to him and kiss him?
What about a deeply felt bear hug?

Would he hate me?
It’s petrifying to think about
And each outcome is just painful
I’m so afraid to tell him

Afraid to say what’s on my mind
About how much this hurts
About my feelings for him
About how much I miss him

Should I cave and tell him?
Or should I bare the pain a bit longer
Letting the fates dictate
What is to come

I need answers
But I know that no one can give them
It has to come from me
Whatever my mind and heart decide