Among the piles of ***** clothes
Beyond the stacks of dishes
Lives a girl you’ve passed before
A truly absurd missus.

She shows the moon her moonlight
And showers in the rain.
If you glanced your eyes upon her
You would wonder if she's sane.

She wears two different shoes
One black and yet one red.
She even has three hair colors
That grow out of her head.

Her skin is very spotty
White patches all around.
Her head is red and blistered
With scales like dragons crowned.

She has teeth like a vampire
Some pointed and some straight.
I’ve been told she bites people
Who touch her by mistake.

Some people say she is a fool
Who hides behind blue eyes,
Or say she is a tyrant
With a torso full of lies.

Some people say she's misconstrued,
Not odd deliberately.
“Perhaps she's a mishap of God”
They say concernedly.

She laughs at jokes not funny.
She does everything wrong.
One time she walked around the town
With her dress tucked in her thong.

I heard she drinks alcohol
Like it's her morning kiss
And slurs her speech suspiciously
In an evil nasty hiss.

So if you see this missus
I’ll tell you what to do,
Just walk right on past her,
Until you’re somewhere new.

She is not worth your time
Not a second or a split
Not a minute or an hour
Not a day and not a tick

So simply just keep walking by,
Your dignity in check.
Keep your eyes on the horizon
And she's gone within a sec.

Don’t dare to look too closely, ma'am,
Fear what she may do!
If you gave her any time of day
You’d find out.. well.. she's like you.