Mar 2020
My convictions rest upon the assurance of things not seen. Like the infant who is not whole and yet to be wean. I am moved along by a light that I can barely see. There is a hope deep down inside. All the while it is the only hope that help's me breathe.
When all I have known is pain. When I did not live, I walked by shame. When I moved to change, I was chastised that I did not move the same. I assure you son there is a comfort through these things.
There is a light beyond the horizon that is buried by the dark. Which eyes have not seen but can be felt with your heart. Where weary legs kneel and All sin departs. Where you are justified and a new life starts.
My humanity questioned every step of the way but I had trust in One that all one day will soon change.
Your legs cannot carry you my beloved little boy, the road is not paved. It is an uncharted, terrifying terrain. It's every obstacle is met with strain. It's every heartache you will face along the way. It is not by yourself that you can make the way.
We are weak and flawed inside. If we had the strength; we would boast with pride. You must deny your depravity and cling to the Son to make stride. Accept and acknoledge just who you are. Confess it to Him that sit's on High.
Jesus Christ is the only way. He will supply you with His Grace. His Grace is sufficient. He will walk with you and supply you every step of the way. His love is greater than mine and He walks outside of time. But when He comes to rescue you it is always on time.
It is hard to see this or understand this when you are blind. But when He saves you son, He will also open your eyes. You will see that there is no chance of making it your own way. No chance at pleasing God unless you have Faith. My dear son, Jesus Christ is the only way. When you fall remember this name. When you arise rememeber His name.
He will be the one to bring you home to me. He will be the reason your heart sings. He will be in your weakness your strength. I love you so much. These are my last words. I pray you keep them and reverence them to be true just as I did and so I lived.
To my beloved first born.
-Mateo Cole Ortega
Your father.-Ryan Seth Cole
When all I have known is pain. When I did not live, I walked by shame. When I moved to change, I was chastised that I did not move the same. I assure you son there is a comfort through these things.
There is a light beyond the horizon that is buried by the dark. Which eyes have not seen but can be felt with your heart. Where weary legs kneel and All sin departs. Where you are justified and a new life starts.
My humanity questioned every step of the way but I had trust in One that all one day will soon change.
Your legs cannot carry you my beloved little boy, the road is not paved. It is an uncharted, terrifying terrain. It's every obstacle is met with strain. It's every heartache you will face along the way. It is not by yourself that you can make the way.
We are weak and flawed inside. If we had the strength; we would boast with pride. You must deny your depravity and cling to the Son to make stride. Accept and acknoledge just who you are. Confess it to Him that sit's on High.
Jesus Christ is the only way. He will supply you with His Grace. His Grace is sufficient. He will walk with you and supply you every step of the way. His love is greater than mine and He walks outside of time. But when He comes to rescue you it is always on time.
It is hard to see this or understand this when you are blind. But when He saves you son, He will also open your eyes. You will see that there is no chance of making it your own way. No chance at pleasing God unless you have Faith. My dear son, Jesus Christ is the only way. When you fall remember this name. When you arise rememeber His name.
He will be the one to bring you home to me. He will be the reason your heart sings. He will be in your weakness your strength. I love you so much. These are my last words. I pray you keep them and reverence them to be true just as I did and so I lived.
To my beloved first born.
-Mateo Cole Ortega
Your father.-Ryan Seth Cole
I write these words to be read to my son at my funeral. When the day comes that he might know how much I love him and what I want for him most.
