First couple days back from the hospital
And already I am hostile
I see razors and want to bleed out
I see rope and want to hang
This is probably going to be a bad thing
I see socks that make good chokers when knotted together
I see paint that makes good poison when drunk
I've lost my innocence
I've found the ugly side of life
I used to see things as mere objects, not weapons
Staples, used to be just a utility for a stapler
Glass used to be something you sweeped away
Detergent used to be a laundry item
And knives used to be eating utensils
All I see now is suicide
I dream about slitting my wrist open
Watching the red spill from my arm
Smiling as I bleed to death
Sweet serenity
I've been writing notes
One to my friend
One to my brother
One to my teacher
And one to a ex-lover
I've become what I once thought improbable
I've become suicidal