Like whispers in the wind,
My words have gone.
What can I say?
What excuse can I don?

Being silent is easier,
Than conveying this grief.
The death of who I was,
The birth of disbelief?

Inching through life,
A broken shell.
I thought I had hit rock bottom,
But yet again I fell.

I stare into a stranger's eyes,
When I look in the mirror.
But behind the dull look
Is an overwhelming fear.

What if this never changes?
What if I can't come back?
If I'm gone forever?
If myself I'll always lack?

But more so than that,
I'm afraid of myself.
The atrocities I commit,
Cannot be good for my health.

I'm supposed to heal?
When I hate who I am?
Is that even possible,
Or is even trying a sham?

Take your medication.
Like candy each day.
If it's not working,
Then take it twice a day.

You don't feel like yourself?
You're complaining about that?
I thought after what you've done,
You'd be patting me on the back.

I guess it is better to be numb.
Than to feel this weight.
When I took that knife to my throat,
I had already decided my fate.

Like whispers in the wind,
My words have gone.
What can I say?
What excuse can I don?

Send me to prison.
The joke's on you.
It can't be worse
Than what I put myself through.

Take me away,
From this "life" that I lead.
It has grown unfamiliar,
So please hear my plea.

I don't know me,
But my family pretends to.
"We'll talk about it," they say.
But then we never do.

So judge me and hate me,
Critique and berate me.
Because even I
Cannot stand the sight of me.