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Feb 2020
I just want to love you
Until the end of time
I’d prefer to hold you close
Rather than this distance putting us into a bind

I just want to love you
Unconditionally
There are still so many years
To fall in love with you more
traditionally

In the past, the concept of love made me dubious
I had my trust broken, misconstrued and deconstructed
But now I can see having kids and a husband
With you?
Not sure,
But you erupt like Vesuvius

My feelings for you are volcanic and I wish I could hold you
Cradle your head in my arms, flesh resting on floob
I love you most in these moments of utter simplicity
It’s during these times where you speak more transparently

I want to protect you,
Don’t get caught in my life
It burns bright and red hot and
Lava flows,
putrid sulfuric sin

I just want to love you
Even (more) when I’m with him
Because I’m reminded of you
When our song comes on
On a whim

I just want to love you
Even (more) when you’re with her
Things may work out better there,
But my deeds have more flow

I just want to love you,
Hold you close and tell you it’s alright
And lay with you- no pressure-
Until dew glistens in the morning light

I see you everywhere in the corners of my vision
It feels as if it’s all a  dream, or perhaps a
Nightmare, and in it, time rewinds, the scenario switched,
But you would completely change your decision

You wouldn't want me, and I wouldn't want you
We’d lose sight of what drew us together
We’d get competitive, restless
And it would no longer be a question of whether

But I still just want to love you
In a world without end
After we’ve seen it all
And we’re both on the mend

I still
Just want to love you
Somewhere we both don’t know
In a place far away, fog settles,
And under a quilt we burrow

I want to find you again in a place so anomalous
Filled with neon signs, bright lights, and visual overdoses
I will see you seated at a bar, thinking of why you’re here
I’ll approach you
So much having changed that we seem anonymous
(to be continued)
Gray Roxanne
Written by
Gray Roxanne  20/Gender Fluid/Notre Dame
(20/Gender Fluid/Notre Dame)   
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