Jan 2020
I don’t think about you as much anymore. I don’t feel the same way about you either.
All those feelings that used to cut me to the core seem like distant memories, possibly even as far back as a previous life. I do remember though. Vividly. What it felt like. That white-hot feeling of panic, stemming from the pit of my chest. Followed by the feeling of being cold, so very, very cold. As if you’d stripped me of any and all warmth I ever carried. My light had faded and faded- until it eventually burned out. For a while I was just numb, nothing felt real. It had to be a long-winded nightmare… I was going to wake up any minute and roll over to have you pull me into your arms, reassuring me it was all a dream. It was all in my head, right? I never woke up.
Or at least, I didn’t think I did.
Today I saw a poem that made me realize, maybe I have finally woken up. I don’t think about you as much, and I most certainly don’t feel the same way about you either.
All those feelings that used to cut me to the core seem like distant memories, possibly even as far back as a previous life. I do remember though. Vividly. What it felt like. That white-hot feeling of panic, stemming from the pit of my chest. Followed by the feeling of being cold, so very, very cold. As if you’d stripped me of any and all warmth I ever carried. My light had faded and faded- until it eventually burned out. For a while I was just numb, nothing felt real. It had to be a long-winded nightmare… I was going to wake up any minute and roll over to have you pull me into your arms, reassuring me it was all a dream. It was all in my head, right? I never woke up.
Or at least, I didn’t think I did.
Today I saw a poem that made me realize, maybe I have finally woken up. I don’t think about you as much, and I most certainly don’t feel the same way about you either.
***
