i would explain to my son that belongingness is something you can't touch but feel. eden, my daughter, would get a kiss.
for many years i was looking for people i could belong to; i was on a quest. and this quest went along with fears and doubts. this quest was ******* the energy out of my mind and out of my soul...
how did this quest began, though? on a strange day, i was asked a very intimate question by a professor; a professor whose background i'm aware of; she asked me:
"do you have a religious or a political past?"
her question came out of nowhere. she blindsided me. therefore, i wasn't prepared for an answer that could have satisfied her; regardless what my past really is about.
at this point of my life i wasn't aware about my ancestors; but the professor's questions caused me to become it.
"do you have a religious or a political past?"
i do know about my past now; but the answer i gave this lady was not sufficient for her. by the end of our conversation she said:
"i am sorry. can't shake your hand now. have to go toilet."
that was it. oh my, was i disappointed and frustrated; because this certain lady would have opened many doors for me; doors for which she administrated the keys.
you know, there are days in your life that want to you to be desperate. and yes: i was desperate. about being rejected. and that i wasn't able to have access to dorrs that lead to important conferences, meetings and to important people.
but you know what? it doesn't matter anymore.
because here, on hellopoetry, i have found a place of belogningness. and what my real past is will remain hid: a secret in a purple-colored casket i have the key to.
hellopoetry is a place of belongingness. not just for me but for many many kind-hearted people. and i am not stating this from an opportunist's view: i can feel you guys here and sometimes i sense kindred spirits.
I am very grateful to all of you.
Thank you, Eliot York. Thank you, poets and thank you readers.