Sometimes I cannot quiet my mind,
Depreciating thoughts and moments of self loathing compress my skull,
A sustained attack that builds and builds,
Shockwaves of anxiety course through me,
I am lost in my attempts to return to normality despite my best efforts to piece together the fractured existence,
The barrage continues as my single track mind allows my but one confused perception,
Who am I? What have I become? What does my future hold?
These questions are unanswerable yet I proceed to waste my time over what in the end of the day is meaningless,
I am not stupid and I am aware I can only decide my outcome by making positive change,
Yet despite this I seemingly cannot refuse the chance to torture myself.
This existence is cruel at the best of times,
Even in the best moments,
Doubt, agony, fear sustain themselves with their own intellect,
The all knowing insight that things will never be good forever, if you're mind will not allow it.