the other night I thought I was dying
my arm started to hurt and it felt like my veins were trying to burst through my skin
panic overflowed immediately
and I couldn’t breathe
it hurt so bad I thought surely this was it
it would almost make sense that I would go
from my own feelings killing me
first girl whose own feelings literally killed her
that’s how it felt
like my own thoughts could literally stop my heart
unintentional self sabotage
an ice pack and breathing eventually worked
and I fell asleep so hard I had dreams that I could barely remember the next morning