Jun 2019
How does one escape the snowball effect,
when does it ever cut slack?
Dear lord, oh lord, if that's even your name.
Why have you constantly forsaken me?
we are grown to be kind, taught to love one another,
yet I live in a life of bruisement.
What kind of god tortures the kindness of life by rewarding the evil that dwells inside of those who care nothing of others even if it changes the kindness forever, into something that becomes cold and hard, not trusting a soul and running from everything because everything is so scary like being damaged from a breeze is catastrophic to the nature of that once purest soul and I can't breathe all the time because im paralysed in fear because you god, constantly rip things away till there's nothing for me left.
And you wonder why I don't believe in you.
You've done nothing for me. like ever.
Stop trying to rip away my mother,
she's all I have left..
There's nothing anyone can do, it's all a waiting game, a game you constructed. why? have I not paid you enough? was getting sexually assaulted not enough for you? was being kind to those who done me wrong not enough to show you I was worth a little slack? because I get it god you win, I'm done with the games.
I have minimal friends, I'm constantly alone, no body wants me.
You constantly keep trying to take my family, killing them in the cross fire between this situation you've developed. I deal with the scars, the emotional damage. forever a trigger in my ******* (nightmares)dreams.
I've paid my dues, why can't you ******* see it.
Why believe in you? You're no better than the devil.
the foundation of me is falling apart because I cant bare the loss of anything else. the shingles are falling off the roof, I'm ready to cave but I just cant move. The paralysis has me in too deep, suffering eternally like one of your marionettes. Quit tugging on my fishnet lines because I promise you "lord", there's nothing left inside.
when does it ever cut slack?
Dear lord, oh lord, if that's even your name.
Why have you constantly forsaken me?
we are grown to be kind, taught to love one another,
yet I live in a life of bruisement.
What kind of god tortures the kindness of life by rewarding the evil that dwells inside of those who care nothing of others even if it changes the kindness forever, into something that becomes cold and hard, not trusting a soul and running from everything because everything is so scary like being damaged from a breeze is catastrophic to the nature of that once purest soul and I can't breathe all the time because im paralysed in fear because you god, constantly rip things away till there's nothing for me left.
And you wonder why I don't believe in you.
You've done nothing for me. like ever.
Stop trying to rip away my mother,
she's all I have left..
There's nothing anyone can do, it's all a waiting game, a game you constructed. why? have I not paid you enough? was getting sexually assaulted not enough for you? was being kind to those who done me wrong not enough to show you I was worth a little slack? because I get it god you win, I'm done with the games.
I have minimal friends, I'm constantly alone, no body wants me.
You constantly keep trying to take my family, killing them in the cross fire between this situation you've developed. I deal with the scars, the emotional damage. forever a trigger in my ******* (nightmares)dreams.
I've paid my dues, why can't you ******* see it.
Why believe in you? You're no better than the devil.
the foundation of me is falling apart because I cant bare the loss of anything else. the shingles are falling off the roof, I'm ready to cave but I just cant move. The paralysis has me in too deep, suffering eternally like one of your marionettes. Quit tugging on my fishnet lines because I promise you "lord", there's nothing left inside.
