"Now please don't ever be gay, wait no please don't ever turn out crazy. If you were gay we'd always accept you, you know that, just please don't. And please don't be crazy you remember your grandmother, I don't think I could bear it."

You know I do it all for you mom.
I hold my tongue
I don't look at the other girls, not like I used to anyways
I lock myself in dark rooms and let the tears fall
I try to be sane

Truth is I'll never really be what you want me to be.
I'm an impostor to a perfect child.
And while I might never be a perfect girl or a perfect daughter,
I'm doing my best.
I might lie awake at night while horrors race though my mind,
and my body might love soft curves,
and I might never be just like you,
but I'm fighting it with all I've got.
And I know that I can never tell you my true nature,
but I do sincerely wish you could see
all I've done to be what you wanted.