i stood outside in the rain and felt the water collide with my face wondering if i was the only one who had felt like this or if it was just the cold from my wet clothes slowly creeping in
was the feeling my empty chest which carried the echoed thumps of my heart or was it just the chilling of my bones from landing in one too many puddles
i read poetry until the dawn broke the sky and like the sun waking up i kissed the darkness goodbye and welcomed the blue bird’s song greeting the warm rays of a new day
but like the day it was only temporary and i felt the cool pull from the moon’s glow tugging me back into my empty bed writing poetry until the light from the morning shown brighter than my phone screen
sadness only settles into my skin after i am done tearing at it with guilty teeth remembering what it felt like to sink into that special spot at the junction point of your shoulders
i spend countless hours biting my nails to short stubs because i don’t want to remember them tracing the freckles on your back as if i were painting constellations on your flesh
i look at photos in my phone only deleting them when the substance in my lungs is strong enough to subdue the aching in my chest as i remember the happiness and the love that we held
i make hot tea once it hits 4 with the salted tears that fall down my cheeks because i can’t get up without falling to my knees in a silent prayer that you’ll come back to me
and when the sun comes back up and awakes the restless city i welcome it with open arms in hopes that today will actually be a new day and that it’ll end when it leaves