Aching in my chest
Pain of loss
Yet who have I lost?

Running to the balcony
Laying on the edge
Looking at the stars
Taking the pain away...

Barely holding on
The demons I'm made of
Locking myself in
Letting them win
But I didn't stand a chance,
Did I?

They say they'll make you right
But they only make you worse

Long endless highway
Finally pulling to the streets
Intersection
Turning
Someone runs a red light
Braking, we're inches away from being hit.

Driving off like it was nothing
But I could have lost you
All of you...

Later
Sitting alone in the dark
One...two...three...
Four...five...six...
Used to take one
Now it takes six
Going over
But never under
Shaking uncontrollably
But I'll be okay
I'll still be alive...

I feel my heartbeat
Wondering when it will stop
Letting me go
Into the unknown

I swear I love you
But if I stay
I'll only destroy you...
That's all I ever do
To everyone I love...

Fighting to stay
Yet yearning to go
It all comes back to this
Doesn't it?

I can't take your hand
Mine are bound
Living a nightmare
Crying, aching,
Breaking
But somehow
I'm still here
I just want to hear you
Saying
"Lets go home.."

- Jay M
April 16th, 2019