it's strange
folding up all your t-shirts
and boxing up all the gifts you've given me
that made me smile once
but now they hurt to look at

i'll see you tomorrow
and the day after that
i'm stuck with you, like that
that awkward mix of pain and pathetic relief
that i see you every day

i feel so many things
i miss you
and i'd give anything to kiss you, hold you again
but i'm angry at you
because you treat me like ****
and i'm worried
because you're not coping

i need to trust you to deal with this yourself
because i can't keep hurting myself to try and fix you
but i can't stop thinking
     what if you hurt yourself?
          what if you fall into your old habits?
               what if you decide you can't take it anymore, and you...

i hate that you make me feel like this
you're so obsessed with your own pain
your own problems
that you don't think of me
worried sick about you
heartbroken without you

but that doesn't matter to you.

it's time for me to step back
and let you go chase a nicotine addiction
a pattern of self-hatred and lashing out
because i can't help you anymore
it's up to you to choose to care about yourself
and i hope to god that you do

because i care about you more than anything

and that's why it hurts so much to let you go

but i need to do this for me.