I miss you.

I miss your smile
and how your cheeks would rise
to reveal slightly yellowed teeth
creating wrinkles at the corner
of your small shiny black eyes.

I miss your loud and obnoxious laugh,
I miss your warm hugs.
I miss how you would laugh
At my childish jokes.
I miss your tickles when I was sad
And I miss your goodnight kisses.

I miss you
And I wish I could go back in time.
I wish I could relive all our moments together.
All those moments I failed to cherish until it was too late.
All those times you carried me on your shoulders folding my little hands into yours
All those times we danced in the middle of the kitchen to old french songs
All those times you kissed me on the forehead
And told me you loved me.
All those times I took you for granted.

I do not only mourn your loss,
I mourn all the moments we will never have together,
I mourn for my graduation without your hugs and kisses
I mourn for my wedding day without you to walk me down the aisle
I mourn for the birth of my first child without their grandpa to bless them.
I mourn for every minute this world has to exist without its kindest angel.

If only I had known that you would leave so soon
Then maybe I would have never left home
Or maybe I would have picked up the phone that day.

I miss you, papa,
More than I thought was humanly possible.