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Mar 2019
I am trying not to blame you
For what you cannot change
You are more than a paper doll
With pieces to pick, pull apart, and exchange

Your words are smooth satin
Can't help but suspect your nonchalance
Know I can be standoffish
It's simply an automatic response

Patterns I am used to
Behavior I am around
Have me guarded for great reason
Heartache all I have ever found

It is not your fault you hurt me
Instead it's mine for expecting you to keep
Promises when you have shown before
You will only break them and make me weep

No noticable change in behavior
Don't know why I'm surprised
Don't know why I thought anything would be different
Need to accept a future of secrets and lies

I meet new obstacles daily
Alibis I have to chop down
I think I've finally given up
Only a matter of time til I drown

Weeks passed since any bliss touched our lives
With each day that goes by we deepen the space
Driving ourselves insane with obsession
Madly in love with you, but you only love the chase

A game of tug-o'-war neither can win
Love has us struggling to get along and agree
It is time to realize I'll never change you
Just like you cannot change me
Have you ever had an ex boyfriend you wanted to "ex"-change? Hahaha.
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  29/F/Alaska
(29/F/Alaska)   
366
       Steven, Perry, well this is awkward and ---
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