i forget how to feel
i used to feel so much
it was beautiful

i trembled with pure anxiety when i dreamt of the future,
now i am empty

whether it was about my future career, love, or just the vast universe itself, i always felt present and in the moment,
now i am empty

i cannot connect
i can't feel that spark in everything that i once had
this was my rock that kept me grounded, stopping me from flying away into orbit

i thought i finally put to rest my own creation that haunts me
but yet, it still lives through me, every day now

this creature is a parasite
it has been with me for as long as i can remember,
stealing my emotions,
still, i am empty

i used to be a rainbow in a world of gray and now i feel like the gray in the world of color
teach me how to mend myself together again to be able to feel anything at all
even if its pain,
sadness,
jealousy,
i just want to feel something