slowly i learn
to push away the thoughts
of blood and bleeding
or pills and puking
of starving and loose jeans
of tragedies to other people unseen

slowly i tell myself
ill be okay
maybe

slowly maybe
i learn to recover

drinking and drowning
slowly i fall back
maybe i cant

slowly maybe
im stuck after all

slowly i pull myself
back up
i learn to shower
and eat and sleep
and exist again

my body destroyed
more and more each time

slowly maybe
i learn to love scars
and stretch marks
and chub

cheerful faces fall
slowly maybe i fall
back

but
slowly maybe
i learn to survive