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Dec 2018
i kinda miss the moments
the sunny days
or the ones that rain pink
rain red and orange and sunset and end of the beginning

when i walk by the cafe
the sign board urns into a cinema screen
rewinding to
reading books and
long discussions

spilling tea and
drowning coffee
and then drowning tears
and then just-

or maybe, i kinda miss the feeling
the warmth that came with every evening
familiar scents enveloping all senses
sometimes when i close my eyes
i can still see the sound of your smile

i can still feel softness in linked hands
and then empty in a hand
and then wet in my hand
wet from my eyes
and wet from my cheek

or, i kinda miss us
us when it was us
when it was you and me
and not just- me

whole, still
still one (1)

two (2)
without you
feels odd

i kinda just miss

and your giggles behind your hand
bubbling up your throat and into the air
i feel like i'm in disneyland

and your words
sometimes soft and sometimes spiteful
but always sure
your sentences spell a delicate decision i could only dream of delivering

and even then, in my dreams
my mouth shapes to form syllables i cannot say

and even still, the only word that comes out of my mouth
is your name

you are the only thing i have ever been sure of

so when i say
i miss the moments
and i miss feeling
and i muss us

what i really mean to say is
i just really miss

sometimes you don't need a reason to justify how you feel
and i miss you
because, like loving you

i just do
Written by
lilly  literally lost
(literally lost)   
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