"he's not yours"
is what i tell myself
when the jealousy and unresolved emotions bubble up inside me
soon to overflow into the already existing puddles of self-pity.
"he's not mine"
is what i tell myself
when i want to cross over the line to the other side
even though i know it's illegal.
"you shouldn't care"
is what i tell myself
when i play tug of war with my heart against my mind
and my heart always fights to the end.
"you're not allowed to"
is what i tell myself
when electric charges pulse through my veins
and take over my body.
"it's not going to happen"
is what i tell myself
right before i take my fist
and punch it through my own body.