I wish I was beautiful

I wish "make-up is just for fun"
Wasn't a lie

I wish I wasn't so anxious
all the ******* time

I wish I didn't think about killing myself
every single night

I wish my husband
wasn't the only thing keeping me alive

I wish I wasn't depressed
I wish I had more drive

I wish that I believed
that I can actually do something in my life

I wish I didn't worry
About what others say

I wish we still had that love
that I miss every single day

I wish I wasn't holding back tears
typing this whole thing out

I wish things were different.
I wish I brought you happiness
I wish I didn't think you were obligated
I wish I made your heart full
I wish I wasn't so down
I wish I didn't have to control everything
I wish I could just let things go

I wish I still had a therapist
that would tell me what to do

I wish I didn't have to hide my tears
So I don't shed them in front of you

I wish I was good at writing
It's something I've always loved to do

I wish I could look in the mirror
and find a much better view

I wish I didn't feel like I was broken

I wish I could pick a style

I wish I didn't hate rhyming

I wish I didn't think you were mad at me all the time

I wish I didn't keep having nightmares

I wish my medication worked

I wish I could get a grip

I wish I could handle what life throws at me

But here I am writing a wish list that I'm anxious will just sound like I'm complaining about life and not show how terribly anxious and depressed I really am.