when you took my
childhood away,
i swallowed my voice,
suppressed every tear,
forced myself to adapt,
grew fond of the suffering-
how far into my mind
i would sink when
your fingertips were on
my skin.

you stripped me of all identity
split me into two halves of a person-
living and surviving.

you remolded me into
your perfect creation.

gave me a purpose
with a name.

when i was twelve
you left this earth
with no explanation.

took away your own heartbeat,
took away my only witness.

what was i to do
with the monster
you created,
other than live
the life
you created it
for?

and i will carry these secrets
to my grave,
and give them back to you
in the afterlife.