I sat down yesterday,
Feeling sorry for myself.
Lamenting in my sorrow,
Figuring out a good way to say
The words that have been swirling
Around in my mind like
The way water revolves around a
Drain.

I sit down now today,
Thinking about the way I cope
I go through other people’s lives
With a keen eye.
Like a detective trying to
Determine a killer with nothing
More than a fleck of dust and a
Motive.

I sat there yesterday,
Trying to determine why my fears
Felt as if they were consuming me.
Like the way the darkness
Envelops you in a cold blanket
When all you need is
Someone to keep you
Warm.

I’m sitting here today,
Wishing for more control
More edge, more confidence.
A will to stand my ground
To accept who I truly am,
A talented, wonderful woman
Who is effortlessly
Beautiful.

I remember the times
That I feel sorry for myself.
They fuel me. Feed my fire.
Fill me with every inch of desire.
To be great. To be successful.
To be me. To be the woman
I know I am, rather than
The girl I pretend to be.