the ache burns my fingertips
as I bathe in self-hatred
I am letting my guards down again
vulnerability taking over my body
viciously staring into your soul
envying the grace of your sadness

leaves on the branches losing time
falling out of colour
and me, pretending I'm not waiting
for the winter to come around
to cover me with snowflakes
to burn the patterns on my skin
for your eyes to follow

go ahead, break my heart once more
I'll let you in as soon as you ask
endlessly, stuck in a state of mind
of caring about the worst


when did I become a ghost
inside of a dead body
following the madness that is loving