Can the hell around me
     get any worse?
Is the pain I feel
     merely a curse?
Do I scream inside
     only to wake up dead?
Is this reality
     or all in my head?
Are these emotions
     and feelings real?
Does anybody know
     the way I feel?
Do they see what lies
     just beyond my smile?
Is help coming or
     will I lay here a while?
Is there life
     after my death?
Will someone be there
     should I hold my breath?
Is there really
     a pearly white gate?
If I reach it
     does my aunt await?
If hell awaits me
     will I see my mom?
Should I give up now
     or keep moving on?
Is this deep enough
     would you like to know more?
See deep inside me
     where my heart is a sore.
Experience my pain
     and the hell I've gone through.
The way I lie to everyone
     including me and you.
Understand yet
     why I am a fraud?
Will there be salvation
     and forgiveness from God?
Realize how this isn't
     about suicide?
Only about pain
     and how I feel inside.
So next time you see me
     will you see my smile?
Or see beyond it
     where I walk this lonely mile?