i have a question,
before you ask me why i’ve done this to you.
do you know what i felt that night?

i wanted you.
just you.
you were everything.

and then, i couldn’t breathe.
but i wanted you.

i woke up,
and you were there,
and you were mine.

i woke up,
and then i wanted your head on my shoulders.
us standing together, laughing.
forever able to do that.

because i had doubts, and to keep going this way would mean,
an inevitable,
ugly,
end.

and i want to be able to share an apartment with you in new york city, if we want.
make fun of your art that will be wonderful or at least better than mine.
i want to be able to watch games with you in the dark, and turn and try to explain them,
then laugh about how we don’t know ****.

i want to be able to sit with you among our friends,
turn around and see you laugh.
i want us to be able to go to concerts and walk the streets and think little of it.
i want us to be among friends, and think nothing of it.

and if i love you,
i want to love you for years,
and i want to stay.

and if we’re never what we were for these three weeks,
then i want us to be happy.