I know
I know I handeld things the wrong way
I know I ****** up
and I knew it all along

and yes I could have changed it
and I wanted to
but in this very second I didn´t knew how

I know I am not a good person
and maybe I will never be
I know I hurt you
and I am sorry

I will try to change
I know it won´t change the past
and it will never repear it

but I have to change
because I know I am bad
I know the ugliness inside

and I wish I wouldn´t see it
I don´t know why
maybe to protect myself
maybe because hate is easier than the pain
maybe I wanna hurt others the way I was hurt
maybe because I just couldn´t believe
believe someone would actually love me

which doesn´t make it anymore right
I am sorry
for everything

This is my apology
my realisation
my truth

I will always regret it
I just want you to know that.