So, the day the devil met me...
he was dressed pretty funny
and he uh,
he had this stupid smile,
and he saw mine was broken;
so he, so he asked me to stay for awhile

and for awhile, I danced to his tune,
I harmonized with his melodies,
fell in love with his obscenities, and his lyrical,
complex identities

and for awhile, I made excuses-
I thought, not all are to be for not
everyone makes mistakes, and
who am I to refute against them,
when we all must learn through them

and for awhile, I believed in second chances
which lead to two, three, and even a seventh
because I was taught to forgive and I thought,
that's what that meant

and for awhile, I was hell bent and broken,
thought all was lost, all was stolen, blamed
others for my own emotions, and lost myself in all of the commotion

and for awhile, the hate ran deep,
the anger- steep, sleep was non-existent
my mind- incognisant, and my soul **** near diminished
I was waring thin, knee high in my own cesspool of sin

and for awhile, I had no where to turn
I was forced to eat ****, praying that I'd learn,
and eventually, hopefully claw my way out of this pit,
this pit of self-inflicted loneliness

oh and for awhile, he had me by the tail,
a quick wit I thought I was
but apparently, not nearly enough

I gave up, I lost faith, I settled for what I thought I deserved
when I should have been fighting for what I believed in, the very passion that burns within
I allowed something to exist and play on my mental like a mother ******* fiddle

when I am and nothing more

and so, it was not all for not but merely a confirmation that I am, that I can~

and to forgive is not to forget but to forgive is to change the perspectives while forgetting loses the lessons