i had mercilessly turned myself
As frail as a skeleton
In obsessively trying to justify  
your repeated slips and faults
To myself
Rather than contemplating
To hold you accountable
For them
Shading your lies and fables
Like a greedy politician
Hungers for power
And striving hard to find
The smallest fragment
of truth within them
By using every bit of my
Increasingly deteriorating strength
Making incredibly sure
Like an absolute maniac
That you don't notice
Any visible sign or symptom
Of the eye-watering peace and clarity
That freely bled
From the recesses
Of my mind daily
And obliterating the faint voice
In my head
That sometimes tried
To make me aware
About the naked fact
That i didn't deserve
So much pain
That i was deliberately
yet unknowingly
Inflicting upon myself
For someone like you
Just because
I was terrified
Of another biting fact
Apart from you
No one had made me feel
Worthy of
a half hearted and spiritless love
Ever before