1 You poured your heart and soul out to her She know secrets Fears Hopes Dreams Things you would never tell anyone She knows you like the back of their hand How to calm you down when you're upset at your parents How to tell if you're sad Or happy Or hurting inside So she must know how you're hurting inside When you see her When you hear her voice When you feel her breathe She must know how you're hurting
2 You realize That nobody will ever look As beautiful as she does No one will rock mom jeans Like her Pull off button up prints Like her Tip her hat Like her Wear the same dusty shoes for years Like her Nobody Will ever look as magical as she does While ******* The beauty in her curves The perfection in her uneven skin The gorgeousness in her bruises Scars Stretch marks Birthmarks Pimples A goddess Of the imperfect beauty That made her perfect
3 She doesn't look at anyone when she talks She looks down At her hands Her feet Whatever she's doing She is the most interesting person But so non engaging But you love it Because she didn't see you She didn't see you look at her How her lips changed shape to avoid her braces How her eyes would light up when she was happy How her eyes would darken when she was sad Dimming the light But not putting it out How she didn't play with her hair Or bat her eyelashes Like other girls How she instead turned away To hide her obviously blushing face How she didn't make eye contact For fear of losing her self in your eyes And not long after You noticed yourself losing yourself Entrapped in her web Her web of love
4 You can't ever listen to the same songs Must change your entire library To not think of her But still keep the music In a separate playlist Like and old closet Filled with clothes you can't wear But can't seem to throw away
5 11 am coffee on Saturdays Soy mocha frapp with whip Vanilla bean with caramel drizzle Then watching netflix Turns into 5 am coffee on Tuesdays Black iced coffee Then back to occupying your time With more food More black coffee More pointless work More loneliness
6 You can't go to sleep anymore Insomnia Itching Hives An empty spot next to you You keep filling with stuff An empty heart You keep filling with sleeping pills The smell her body wash Is no longer stuck in the clothes you kept Just the stench Of your body Gone days without showering Because you can't stand the sight Of her leave-in conditioner Not being in your shower
7 You broke her Told her she wasn't what you wanted Because you believed it Told her she wasn't your type Because you believed it Told her you couldn't be with her Because you believed it But now Now You see That what you believed Wasn't what you felt See you can't look at your family Without remembering How much they hated her You can't look at your friends Without remembering How they talked you away from her You can't look at yourself Without remembering What you did to her How could you do that How could you do that? How could you? How!?
8 You will try to love another Burry your memories in a closet Lock it up Throw away your feelings Tie up the bag Put your love in a box Pack it up You will try to love another Give them the love that she deserved The attention that she needed The happiness that she craved You will put your happiness aside Trying to make everyone happy Under the illusion That you were making yourself happy But then you'll see her one day Sitting at a table Eating lunch with her friends And you'll go home Unlock that closet Untie that bag Unpack that box You will cry yourself to sleep that night In the morning Tell yourself it's okay Then cry yourself to sleep the next night The next few days Then weeks Then months And suddenly It will come to you You will realize That you can never truly stop loving her You can never find true happiness That she was your happiness You will finally realize That she is over you by now That she is happy now Without you
And you will never stop loving her But she stopped loving you a lot time ago