It's a horrible, ruining feeling, feeling alone whilst being surrounded by those you call friends, but you know in your heart and mind you will never fit in with them, You will always be an outcast.
It's a self-destructing feeling, knowing that every single person you let in, you will eventually push out. Yet somehow you still allow yourself to make family, though in the end, you know anyone who holds that title has only ever caused you to burn. So you justify to yourself, that they deserve to be locked out, and never know why.
It's an honest feeling, hating yourself for damaging the purity of the innocent just because you've been burned by others before. Loathing the simple-minded, when in fact you are jealous that their innocence is still intact. So you break it. You break it and try to get even with the world, and for that you honestly hate yourself.