"you're so strong"
something i have heard a billion times
because i know how to fake a smile
and stop the tears from flowing from my eyes
i am not strong
but i am not weak
i'm just struggling

you don't see everything
you don't look past the curtain of artificial sunshine
or take the time to read the book that is me
you don't see the nights consisting of no sleep
of vomiting and crying
laying on the cold bathroom floor
the days i don't want to live anymore
the days where changing my clothes
is far too hard

i am struggling
carrying around concrete feet
dragging a backpack full of bricks
handfuls of emotions
of trials
of errors
and no space to put them
but smiling for all of the right people
saying the things i know need to be said
keeping attention far away
because to you, i am strong
to you i can concur the world
and oh how i wish i could