Love
Has always been a veiled villain for me:
A trickster,
A demon,
A thief in the night.

I believed that love was pure.
I believed that love was safe
And warm,
Even after I met you.

When I met you,
I thought what I felt was love.
I thought love meant accepting
How you made me bleed.

I thought love meant doing
Everything to keep you afloat
While you drowned me
In your sea.

Until the day you left,
And for a long time after,
I did not know what
Real love was.

I didn’t know it meant
Arguments about all
The stupid ****
Friends fight about with no violence.

I didn’t know it meant
Finding solace
in pizza boxes and
Awful films that makes us laugh.  

I used to be heartbroken by you leaving.
But I know now,
That if you had stayed,
You would have broken

My heart until it bled for you.
You would have taken everything from me
Until I was gone
In that final packet of pills.