Who would have though that the happiest days of my life would also be the worst.
Deep down inside my chest something has been growing... and soon I'll burst.
I do not understand why it's here, but I do know that it hurts.
What at first seemed a blessing turned out to be a curse.

This insidious beast, talks to me in my sleep.
It tells me lies, until nothing but false hope fills my eyes.
At first I tried to feed it, and when that didn't work I tried to free it.
Why won't it just let me be?

Still, there it stayed, in my chest... growing bigger and stronger day by day.
Even now, I can still feel it's foul poison lingering in my veins.
What once brought me joy now only brings me  pain.
I can't even remember when it infested my soul, but still I curse that day.

God please make it go away.
I am a man, yet I am only human, and I now see my problem has but one solution.
I must **** the love in my heart before it kills me.
I must relieve some of this woeful misery, it's the only way.

It hurts me to say, but I have my reasons.
The most important of which is simply self defense.

I must **** it before it kills me
**** it before it kills me
**** it, **** me
Self defense