Its been
Days, weeks, months
Since you left me behind
Left me head over heels in "love" with you
You had me thinking that i knew you so well
That I was the best thing in your life
That I was the only thing that you trusted

You had me thinking that you loved me
that you truly did care for me
that our countless messages meant something
that our phone calls every night weren't just out of boredom

You had me thinking that I was worth something
that for once I could be somebodies that person
that every time you walked me to class
and every time you waited for me at the end of the day was because you needed me

I want to scream that you used me
that you lied and it all meant nothing
that you manipulated and stayed cause I was the only one there
that I wasn't the one who made myself believe something that isin't even there

Its been so long since we talked or seen each other
All the reality and words of what people say all start to make sense
I trusted you with everything, took your word above all
But I wonder if that was the right choice to make
If I should have trusted my other friends after all

But your gone now, Theres no need to stress
All the words and things no longer hold any meaning
You don't care about me,  You don't even bother to text
My hollowed out heart doesn't bother anymore
Not after its been broken to it's very core

Sometimes I close my eyes at night
All I can see is your cheerful face
Grinning and laughing, as you did when we were friends
The memories we shared, things like watching our show together, falling asleep in the middays sun and playing video games till we finally won.

And I know that in these moments I was truly happy
I was content, in love and I wished for nothing more.
But as I lay awake I can't help but wonder
Did you really not love me, did you find me a bore?

Was it all really a lie?
Did you truly not care?
Was I nothing more than just a person who happened to be there?
Cause I loved you, loved you so much that it ******* hurt
I blindly gave you everything till I was completely stripped bare

So do enlighten me
Do tell me blunt and clear
Tell me your true feelings
For the whole world to hear

I've been suffering in silence
Not allowing myself to shed a tear
I refused to believe that my love meant nothing
The very thought fills my soul with fear

Tell me so I can cry
Tell me so I can finally move on
Tell me the truth behind it all
Tell me so that I can stop loving you

Cause in my heart you are still
My beloved pedestal boy