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May 2018
I didn't ask to be born.
Did I give you permission to have me?
I'm just not cut out for this, really...
I think about suicide constantly
Everyday I question my sanity
Am I okay? Stop starring at me!
You're only worsening my anxiety
They saw me crying.
I don't want them to think that I'm attention-seeking
Because I'm not:
I just have a lot of ****** up thoughts.
One day I'm calm and the next I feel forgot-
Ten: they told me when I grew up I'd be that number
Not someone who's chubby and refuses to go to slumber, part-ies
They were just never for me
But don't get me wrong I tried to participate
Just no one ever really included me unless it was a one-on-one standing
I get it, I'm a fill in.
That's always been my role
Someone who's just there
For when others couldn't be.
That's me.
The girl I'll hit up tomorrow because my other friend is busy
On a new note I'm about to be 15
My parents could kick me
out or disown me
Send me on my way
As if they never had known me
I'll eventually be on my own
That's the point of this right?
To witness someone's life and
Then toss them aside but say
That you'll be there until the end of time?
Right?
Wrong
I always feel that way when
I'm singing this song
Titled: strife
It makes me not want to go on
But it remains
Always in my veins
It tells me to stay
On the worst of days
It triggers me hard
I just want to go away
Just let me already
Why must I stay steady
Can't you tell I'm not sturdy
And just want to yell
At everybody
I'm in tears already
As I pull the cord on this bag
Helium fills my lungs
I no longer feel sad
I laugh continuously
As I'm  being poisoned
I'm mad; crazy
I forgot to write a note
Don't hate me
You all knew me in the past
For a time being
You had your chances with me
There was no right or wrong
I was just always singing a different song
So don't feel bad for my no longer going on
I was never meant to be here
Please. Stay strong.
Haylin
Written by
Haylin  21/F/Lost in this cruel world
(21/F/Lost in this cruel world)   
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