Many may say that Anorexia is worse than orthorexia
The truth is that there is no worse.
It's like deciding whether anxiety or depression is better.
But there is no compaction, nor any winner.
Orthorexia is not healthy eating.
It's about battling the inner deomons that control your ever move,
Deciding weather you should go a week of fasting
Or go without fats or sugar altogether.
It's spending hours planning out meals that are "safe" to eat
And spending an hour in the bathroom having a panic attack
For eating one bite of ice cream.
It's obsessing over every gram of fat you consume,
Until the numbers consume you
It's compulsively looking at food labels
To find anything artificail
Or else your not allowed to eat
Its exercising until you can even feel your legs
Because exercise takes commitment
Its not being able to fall asleep for weeks
becomeing so delusional that you believe the people trying to help you
Want to make you fat and unhealthy.
It's not looking in the mirror for weeks
Because your scared of what you might see
It hating your own body so much
That even a "diet" wont help you
It's crying in the bathroom
Because of how much dressing your friend put on her salad
It's chugging so much water
That you throw up
Its worrying your parents because you've gotten so thin
But it's okay because you still eat
It's hating yourself so much that
You forgot how to love yourself
Its lying to everyone,
Telling them your fine,
Even though you spent all night crying
It's not wanting to leave the house
Fearing that people will see you how you see yourself
It's not being able to go to the store
Without having a mental breaking
It's like living in a constant nightmare
But you can never awake