Apr 2018
Dragged under the water by darkness, wondering when it will all be over. This suffocating darkness that calls my name.
I’ve been hurt. I’ve been torn to pieces. Smashed onto the ***** floor in which I’ve been told I belong. The struggle of staying above the water drags me deeper. I’m tired and wet and empty inside. It just seems so easy to let go. The thought of trying to swim to freedom is so nothingness. The weights chained to my ankles only get heavier each day with the weights of the world. Soon I will fail. I will give up. Unable to live in a world where you safe, where your pain is taken away, where there is people you can tell everything to, where life seems freeing. I remember the day she held scissors to my head. The blade millimeters away from my face. The she took us to the car and drove away. She took us to the park. 10:00 pm. She asked us what we were thinking. About if they would get a divorce. She said she would be mad. I said nothing. No words could describe how I felt. “I don’t feel anything.” She was mad. She lied. He lied they lied. We lied. I now no longer feel anything. I’m in pain. I’m in empty pain. My tears mean nothing and yet everything. My words start wars and end lives. I. Me. Who is Me? No one. Nothing. A nothing slowly running out of air.
I’ve been hurt. I’ve been torn to pieces. Smashed onto the ***** floor in which I’ve been told I belong. The struggle of staying above the water drags me deeper. I’m tired and wet and empty inside. It just seems so easy to let go. The thought of trying to swim to freedom is so nothingness. The weights chained to my ankles only get heavier each day with the weights of the world. Soon I will fail. I will give up. Unable to live in a world where you safe, where your pain is taken away, where there is people you can tell everything to, where life seems freeing. I remember the day she held scissors to my head. The blade millimeters away from my face. The she took us to the car and drove away. She took us to the park. 10:00 pm. She asked us what we were thinking. About if they would get a divorce. She said she would be mad. I said nothing. No words could describe how I felt. “I don’t feel anything.” She was mad. She lied. He lied they lied. We lied. I now no longer feel anything. I’m in pain. I’m in empty pain. My tears mean nothing and yet everything. My words start wars and end lives. I. Me. Who is Me? No one. Nothing. A nothing slowly running out of air.
