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Mar 2018
To any who'd reads,sees,watch,listen&run tell THIS: I'M at A Place IN MY LIFE WHERE I AIN'T CHANGING FOR U & NO one else. Ppl You don't change for anybody else and if you can't or WONT rock with how I am then don't ******* rock with me for anything else! Deal with me how I am not for what you "think& thought" you could change me into. I got kids grown *** and not so grown *** kids and grandkids babies, I got bills u don't pay & don't care nothing about.I got mental issues on top of some other ******* issues and some more ****; SO IF MY *** TRYING TO SHOW U IM A GO AND GROW WITH U & FIGHTING RIGHT NEXT TO YOU & I'M IN THE TRENCHES WITH YOU, WHILE HELPING yo *** CULTIVATE THIS ****- WE CALL FRIENDSHIP ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC ETC- then yo *** better not ever a day in yo life use me or try to run game on me! I'm going to love you regardless if YOURE RIGHT OR WRONG. IM A TELL U WHEN YA WRONG & yo u better tell me { NOT IN PUBLIC} EVEN THEN I GOT U BOO, BUT IF U KEEP UP THAT ******* AND IT AFFECTS ME OR MY KIDS AND all of OUR WAY OF LIVING OR hinders me from"MAKING A LIVING"; I will definitely DISASSOCIATE MYSELF FROM YO LIFE 100 %. EVERYONE knows me knows; I DON'T DO DRUGS & don't go round no one WHO does, not judging & I don't think I'm better THAN anyone too flawed to even ever compete... MY ONLY SO CALLED HABIT IS CIGARETTES, OF WHICH I GOT THE PATCHES FOR & SOMETIMES I LIKE TO DRINK MY WINE & WATCH NETFLIX- CHILL WITH whomever, BUT MAINLY BY MY GOT **** SELF. WHICH TOO, MOST KNOW I DON'T EVER REALLY MIND BEING OR DOING STUFF ON MY OWN! SOME PPL AIN'T GOT TO HAVE ME CUZ IM GONNA ALWAYS HAVE ME MYSELF AND I! I WAS BORN ALONE, IM GOING TO DIE ALONE &IT MIGHT BE NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE HOLD MY HAND AS I GO WHEN I GO. BUT BABY if you think or thought  I'd change for you this is your ******* wake up call! Listen; I've been in and out of foster care& group homes and in them; I was SEVERELY ABUSED, put down assulted and defamed etc. This ain't no sob story; been married a whole heep of times and went through similar **** like foster care etc with them so called men & was talked about like a dog & sometimes worse from so called family wether foster or blood etc. Ppl turned on me ,  believed lies & gave up our long standing FRIENDSHIP. I have been homeless and well off ; never rich{money wise} and have known struggles. I am sure many have similar stories; but this here is mines, I've danced on a pole and I'm not ashamed, I've worked in what I considered so called "Cooperate American", nursing& legal FIELD'S too
(white collard,blue,pink throw ups & more) lol and been to college many times. Im told by a a few psychiatrist that I'm a borderline genius but even Einstein couldn't tie his shoe without help! I have PTSD plus much more.SEEN DEATH &LOOKED IT RIGHT IN ITS FACE . WATCHED THOSE I LOVE&LOVED GO HOME TO GLORY - SOME OF EM WERE FROM MY WOMB.BEEN jumped stabbed shot at etc; I don't ******* scare easy baby and yo race don't mean **** to me unless it's you of whatever race color & Creed that's trying to do an injustice towards ME!So take me as I am or ******* delete me block me and or cut me off & outta yo life;CUZ I AINT CHANGING FOR YOU & NO one else!
© 2015-2077 by Ayeshah K.C.L.N.
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Ayeshah
Written by
Ayeshah  F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE"
(F/I'M ILLUSIVELY"HERE")   
599
 
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