It wasn’t supposed to be like this
You were supposed to be with me
Not him
Not my best friend
How can I get mad at that?
How can I try and drive a wedge between that?
I can’t
I can’t ruin your happiness for my own selfish desires
I can’t tell you how I really feel, because it isn’t mutual
Is it.
Is it?
No, I know it isn’t
And now you send me heartfelt messages, about friendship
Well if that’s all I’m going to be
Then that’s what I will be
I don’t deserve your beauty
I don’t deserve your grace
I don’t deserve your laugh
I don’t deserve the burden of your pain
I don’t deserve you
I have tried
Lord knows I’ve tried to get over you
I’ve spent days, weeks, months hating you
Or at least trying
Now I’m sitting with alcohol in my blood and tears in my eyes
Staring at the picture you gave me before I left
Now, more than ever
I miss you
I want you

I love you