watch you, whisper to you

i want to touch your body
every inch of your flesh should be categorized in to a file cabinet
to be ordered by sensation and  rhythm

a *****, sweaty affair of taking inventory of the defense of the other team
"what hurts them" "what helps them" "what makes them giggle" "what makes them moan"
i know what it takes to make them moan

its a war out here and every is invited,
to the war of the lost, stepped on, and rejected
against the rainbows, puppies, and ******

i want feel your sculpted dancing legs
i want to lick the death off her skin
carcass her imperfectly perfect body

******* the subject is a delicate process
first, the physical clothes,
then, the emotional barriers
finally, the mental incapability

at the end, you are presented with the most pure human form
a fully **** model of your great white buffalo.

for me....  it the one that got away, she sings in the shower

to the girl with the flowers in her hair
to the girl that laid back and lived life
to the girl with the yellow sundress
the sun darted and fell on your face
like the angels blessed you and the devil accepted you
you were strong and brave
you saw me at my lowest and regected me
i understand

my low is very low
but i tried
i did
but i couldnt help myself , i fell
i fell hard
star struck
heart bleeding on my sleeve
i did it, i spoke
i accomplished the most primeval skill
language

but it was over before it started

I heard em say
Dark and cloudy voices
A small candle at night
A spark of hope in a young man’s heart
The flicker of a flame in the snow
A match burning in a cave
They are small but strong
The voices talking to the world
These voices are from the corners of society
They whisper “yes”
When the world screams “NO!”
These voices can harm or heal
It’s that wife’s tear while a hand strikes
It’s the glue that holds a spider to a wall
It’s the cup of coffee when you really need it
It’s the warm blanket after a death
But sometimes these voices are too much
These voices tell you to follow your heart not your head
These voice cry please jump, when you’re on an edge
You can’t say maybe
You have to listen
I love you
That’s what falls from the mouth
She is silent
And it’s over.
She’s gone and you’re alone
You’re alone
Alone
With your worthless voices

The world is full of bad people
That’s what the TV tells us
To be a good person, stay at the steeple
To be good you can’t cuss
What makes some one bad?
******? Stealing? Drinking? Drugs?
What if I used to be good?
I used to respect women
I used to do the right thing
I’m not sure what happened
Maybe I was tired
Maybe I hate good
Maybe I decided to live for myself
Maybe it was her
If it I didn’t fall so hard
I would still be good, for her
But she doesn’t like good
Or bad
She doesn’t like me
So why
Why try
For other people?
I want to be good but
But
But
But
But
Why?
please tell me
some one
tell my why
like a dot in a sand box
good isn't close
you have to find it
work for it
love it
nurture it
**** for it

I always hear about the “one”
How amazing she is
How fantastic my life will become
I wonder what she will look like

I just wonder
If she really is the “one”
She will have lots of tattoos.
She will pretend she doesn’t care about me.
If she really is the “one”
She will have piercings
She will paint seascapes and listen to ska.

I will see her walking down the beach
She will be on the arm of another man
But if she really is the one,
Ill still make a move

Ill stop her as she walks by.
Ill comment on her beauty and ask her to coffee.
The guy she is with will knock me on my ***.
But she will be concerned for me and yell at her man.
She will bend down to make sure I’m all right,
But slip her number into my pocket.

If she is the one,
She will tell me what to wear.
If she is the one,
She’ll cook for me while I clean.
She’ll tell me what I’m doing wrong,
She’ll try to fix me and I will resist.

She will make me a better person,
Without changing me.
She won’t care when I forget her birthday,
Because she forgot it too.

She will want an elegant an expensive wedding,
But she will want to leave early.
She will be my world.

If she is the one,
We will grow old together but never stop being young.
We have two boys but still go to concerts.
We will cause havoc and toilet paper our friends.
If she is the one,
When I try to slow her down, she will just sped up.
She won’t listen to me even though I hang on her every word.

We when have gone gray, I will take her to the beach where we first meet.
The sun will be going down,
And another man will comment on her beauty and ask her out.
I have learned, so I say thank you and we will continue to walk.

This will all happen if I ever find the one.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this
You were supposed to be with me
Not him
Not my best friend
How can I get mad at that?
How can I try and drive a wedge between that?
I can’t
I can’t ruin your happiness for my own selfish desires
I can’t tell you how I really feel, because it isn’t mutual
Is it.
Is it?
No, I know it isn’t
And now you send me heartfelt messages, about friendship
Well if that’s all I’m going to be
Then that’s what I will be
I don’t deserve your beauty
I don’t deserve your grace
I don’t deserve your laugh
I don’t deserve the burden of your pain
I don’t deserve you
I have tried
Lord knows I’ve tried to get over you
I’ve spent days, weeks, months hating you
Or at least trying
Now I’m sitting with alcohol in my blood and tears in my eyes
Staring at the picture you gave me before I left
Now, more than ever
I miss you
I want you

I love you