It feels like forever when I don't see you.
When I don't see the smile you bring and the endless waves that remain around you through thick and thin.
Your hand feels warm in mine and I try to make something out of it,
but it takes a while
and it takes a lifetime before the words that were left unsaid actually leave my mouth;
for the first time, I don't trust what I'm saying.
It's all nonsense like the way I thought we were,
and nonsense like the thing we are right now
But I realize
we.
are.
nothing.
as in we are nothing together,
but everything apart,
and the everything won't make it to the endless waves because what.
we.
were.
ended.
I guess your endless waves didn't match up with the end of my tide
and just like that you became and I didn't and
I'm still trying to comprehend the endlessness that you left and the nothing I have.
When I see you it's like the smile that was on you first comes to me through thick and thin
and the force of the waves isn't enough to push me into the nothing I have and make something with the things I still haven't said
And when your hand touches mine for the first time since you became endless, I smile with the things I have yet to say and the nothingness that I have
and I miss it
but, how can I miss something that was nothing ?