you're alive
i mean, you stand in front of me
you can breathe
i feel the air shirt when you move
as if you were alive
but in some ways, you're dead
i'm mourning you, though you're here
i can touch you and feel you
if i put my fingers to your wrist
there would be a steady, rhythmic pulse
but there's nothing in our relationship
there's nothing tell me you're alive
so i mourn you as i would mourn
a dead relative or friend
i mourn not for you as a person
but for all that could have been
for all of the possibilities that were
hidden under moss covered rocks
because of something out of your control
because of something no one can control
it's cruel and it's evil and it's real
it's still there and you're still dead--
you're still dead and i can't bring myself
to go to your funeral