i think about what happens if someone really special came into my life. maybe not just someone special, but, making friends as well.
we might have a small connection, whether it would be similar hobbies, tastes, interests, whatever, same thing, and we would be really comfortable with each other. we would just have a good time talking to one another.
but there would always be a time where i would get too comfortable. a bit too personal.
i would keep bringing up my insecurities, a bit of my past, my bad habits, and the fears that i have that relate to the world we all live in. i guess you can say that turning just a regular conversation to a therapy session would be one of my bad habits.
but thinking about it, i forget that everyone has their own weaknesses, and there's going to be a point in time where we're going to open up to them about it. yes, i understand that some people would like to hide certain problems to themselves which i still have a hard time trying to do, but at the end of the day, we're going to show other people our weakness at some point.
and once i tell the other person my weaknesses, my demons, i would always beat myself up and punish myself that i had lost another opportunity of making a new friend. but really, it's them to decide whether they want to accept my flaws or not.
you either stay friends with me and accept me, no matter what mistake i make, or leave and go meet someone new. that is all up to you. your choice.
a life lesson that i can't please anybody and that i will always find people that can love me for me.