Jan 2018
A hostel, somewhere in Gangnam.
It was around 10, possibly 11
hot chicken in a box, and a man holding it.
A small man
thin shouldered, narrow faced
chicken *****
He wore a light green vest or
rather, it wore him.
And each leg being 10 kilograms
each wing, about 8
and upon later inspection, there were
5 legs and 3 wings thus
74 kilograms, plus the box, then
76 kilograms and that
that
was the weight of his world, which he carried.
...
Her name is Soo-Ae, he said.
She is in the first grade and
can tie her shoelaces,
all
by herself
Ding,
the elevator.
The chicken stepped inside, and
so did the man.
Her name is Min-Ju, he said.
She graduated 3 years later,
but I waited.
For her, I could’ve waited
3 hundred.
…
(Room 3 hundred three, right?)
(Yes.)
3 hundred,
3 hundred one,
two, and
three.
...
But sometimes,
just sometimes, you see,
shoelaces can tangle badly
like umbilical cords
I’m sorry,
Doctor Lee had said as he
held her hands, shaking
hands shaking hands, shaking
Poor Min-Ju, he said.
Poor Soo-han, he said.
…
(Beer?)
(Uhm. Any green stuff?)
(Yes.)
(Thank you.)
(Here, I’ll
pour you.)
(Thank you.)
…
Most of the time,
Soo-Ae unties them herself,
or asks me like,
like
Appa?
swig
(one.)
but did you know, he asked
that the moment that a father gets depressed
is not the moment that he realizes
he cannot do it,
but is the moment that he realizes he must tell his
daughter
that he cannot do it,
and watch, helpless, as half the lights in her eyes
flicker and
die out.
swig
(two.)
Poor Soo-Ae, he said.
Poor Min-Ju, he said.
Poor Soo-han, he said.
(Pour me.
yes
that’s good.)
…
And
and when your hands start shaking,
like, like
shaking,
they become hard to untie,
those knots.
and everything.
Soo-Ae is no longer in the first grade,
and no longer wears ribbons in her hair.
Sometimes coming home very. late.
Where were you?
*******, you drunk.
Poor Soo-Ae.
Min-Ju is no longer three years younger,
And stays in bed, staring years.
Sometimes waking screaming sobbing.
Where is Soo-Han?
I hear him crying, where is he?
Poor Min-Ju.
…
Sometimes, big knots become
smaller, and smaller
and that’s when you know your life is over,
or that it’s time to get
new glasses, at least.
and
the liquor
stopped.
...
Do you know
what happens when a knot
cannot be untied?
he asked
My bleary eyes
went from liquor,
to cup.
And finally,
to my father’s hand.
…
You cut it?
...
No, he said.
...
You keep on trying, whether it takes
three hundred years, or
three hundred and one, or
three hundred and two, or
three hundred and
three.
You keep on
trying.
swig
(three.)
...
And that night, at a hostel
somewhere in Gangnam
my father.
thin shouldered, narrow faced
chicken *****,
wore a sad expression,
or rather,
it wore him. my father.
...
My poor,
poor father.
It was around 10, possibly 11
hot chicken in a box, and a man holding it.
A small man
thin shouldered, narrow faced
chicken *****
He wore a light green vest or
rather, it wore him.
And each leg being 10 kilograms
each wing, about 8
and upon later inspection, there were
5 legs and 3 wings thus
74 kilograms, plus the box, then
76 kilograms and that
that
was the weight of his world, which he carried.
...
Her name is Soo-Ae, he said.
She is in the first grade and
can tie her shoelaces,
all
by herself
Ding,
the elevator.
The chicken stepped inside, and
so did the man.
Her name is Min-Ju, he said.
She graduated 3 years later,
but I waited.
For her, I could’ve waited
3 hundred.
…
(Room 3 hundred three, right?)
(Yes.)
3 hundred,
3 hundred one,
two, and
three.
...
But sometimes,
just sometimes, you see,
shoelaces can tangle badly
like umbilical cords
I’m sorry,
Doctor Lee had said as he
held her hands, shaking
hands shaking hands, shaking
Poor Min-Ju, he said.
Poor Soo-han, he said.
…
(Beer?)
(Uhm. Any green stuff?)
(Yes.)
(Thank you.)
(Here, I’ll
pour you.)
(Thank you.)
…
Most of the time,
Soo-Ae unties them herself,
or asks me like,
like
Appa?
swig
(one.)
but did you know, he asked
that the moment that a father gets depressed
is not the moment that he realizes
he cannot do it,
but is the moment that he realizes he must tell his
daughter
that he cannot do it,
and watch, helpless, as half the lights in her eyes
flicker and
die out.
swig
(two.)
Poor Soo-Ae, he said.
Poor Min-Ju, he said.
Poor Soo-han, he said.
(Pour me.
yes
that’s good.)
…
And
and when your hands start shaking,
like, like
shaking,
they become hard to untie,
those knots.
and everything.
Soo-Ae is no longer in the first grade,
and no longer wears ribbons in her hair.
Sometimes coming home very. late.
Where were you?
*******, you drunk.
Poor Soo-Ae.
Min-Ju is no longer three years younger,
And stays in bed, staring years.
Sometimes waking screaming sobbing.
Where is Soo-Han?
I hear him crying, where is he?
Poor Min-Ju.
…
Sometimes, big knots become
smaller, and smaller
and that’s when you know your life is over,
or that it’s time to get
new glasses, at least.
and
the liquor
stopped.
...
Do you know
what happens when a knot
cannot be untied?
he asked
My bleary eyes
went from liquor,
to cup.
And finally,
to my father’s hand.
…
You cut it?
...
No, he said.
...
You keep on trying, whether it takes
three hundred years, or
three hundred and one, or
three hundred and two, or
three hundred and
three.
You keep on
trying.
swig
(three.)
...
And that night, at a hostel
somewhere in Gangnam
my father.
thin shouldered, narrow faced
chicken *****,
wore a sad expression,
or rather,
it wore him. my father.
...
My poor,
poor father.
about a chicken delivery man
