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Jan 2018
I never could
Yes I was hurt
But I'm not angry
And I'm not upset about it
I am just trying really hard
To grow as a person
And that's hard with any extra pressure

I understand why you're using your words
As ammo against me
Because it is a coping mechanism and
I'm sorry I couldn't handle it
Because I want to help
But right now I need to worry about me

I'm going through a lot of changes
Trying constantly to improve myself
Because I need to keep growing
And I've done so much in the past few months
More than I have in my entire life
My friends stopped worrying about me
One said she was always worried before
But now she can breathe easy because
I truly am changing

But I am not mad at you
At all
I hear you
I understand your pain
And I'm sorry I broke you again
I didn't mean to be that person
But I was
And I can't change that fact
I wish I could help you
But I don't think I can
It may seem selfish
But I really am helping myself right now
And anything else will hinder that progress

There's so much I want to do
So much I want to be
And I'm finally realizing that I have the power
To really make a difference for myself
And it's intense
But also amazing

I wish you nothing but
Love and everything good
Because you do deserve it
You are a good person
And your depression doesn't define you
Neither do your coping mechanisms

But I do not hate you
Because I know you're only human
And the only thing we all want
Is to be happy and not feel pain
That's how we're all connected
So I hope you find peace
And I hope you stay clean
Through the process of finding your truth
Because you are an amazing person
And I know you can pull through this
Nicole
Written by
Nicole  28/Non-binary/Wisconsin
(28/Non-binary/Wisconsin)   
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     Agnis Lynota and K
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