To my body that I desperately wanted to disappear That I tried to shrink That I yearned to transform into an impossible weight
To my body that I refused to call home That I hated more than I used to hate the color yellow That I wanted to get rid of
To my body that made me feel like I was never enough That kept me alive, even though I wanted so badly for it to die That I have covered in scars and tattoos in hopes of making it more beautiful
To my body that I am trying to ****— I am sorry. I am sorry for not loving you as I now love the color yellow I am sorry for trying to make you disappear I am sorry for making you scarred I am sorry for the pain I have put you through I am sorry for the tears you have shed over how you appeared in the mirror I am sorry for trying to bury you away deep into the earth rather than helping you thrive on the face of it I am sorry for waiting this long to say--I am sorry.